Drake was dumped in a chair, which was far more comfortable than he expected it to be. A bag, which had been pulled over his head, was peeled off to allow a 400-watt fluorescent bulb pierce spikes of light into his unadjusted retina.
“Walter, put the light down, this is not Guantanamo!”
A desk lamp was retracted, and Drake’s vision slowly returned, allowing his dry eyes drink the information of his surroundings. He seemed to be in an Aquarium, or at least above one. Clusters of turtles swam beneath his feet under 20 inches of glass flooring. The walls and ceiling also made of glass formed a dome, which perfectly framed the storm outside and created the illusion that the room was floating like a bubble in space.
The Advisory stood to attention at his side.
Three old men, each wrapped in purple dressing gowns, sat cramped uncomfortably together in a rowing boat seven feet away from Drakes seat. They grumbled in a dissatisfied huddle, until the middle Admiral announced. “Let’s move this along Walter, what seems to be the trouble?”
Walter, a man who made the word obese seem small, waddled as best as his legs could carry him to present the case to the Admirals. “My lords,” he spluttered, 18 chins wobbling under his round moon face. “As the most humble clerk of this most humble court of Destiny, it is my humble…”
“Get bloody well on with it!” Cried the Admiral to the left.
Walter mopped a film of sweat from his brow. “My most humble apologies. Two of our agents claim to have discovered a non-fictional being.”
“Never!”
“Never!”
“Never!” Each Admiral echoed the last in louder and sounder agreement.
“Never,” repeated the middle Admiral “has there been a non fictional entity on our watch!”
“27 billion years” echoed the Admiral to his right. “Have we, the Admiral’s of Destiny steered the course of this universes narratives and NEVER has there been a character out of place or a happenchance we did not chance to happen.”
“Never!” Re-stated the left Admiral.
“Never”, brown-nosed Walter, sneering at Drake.
“What say you Advisory.” Said the left Admiral, glaring over at the duo like a dentist into a rotting molar. “What can you illuminate for us?”
“Some,” said the Advisory, taking the floor, “interesting details Admirals. “The very fabric of the universe is woven in narrative, everything is connected, all fiction interweaves in a perfect coincidental harmony. Every person has a part to play in the grand tapestry of life. And it is all thanks to you Admirals.” He paused, more for effect than necessity, and when he felt the time was right, continued seamlessly. “However, we are facing quite a problem here, as, it is true. Drake here is a character without a story in your fictional universe.”
“Never!” Cried out the centre Admiral, rocking the boat with a shake of his fist.
“Never!” Agreed the Admirals of the right and left.
“Indeed!” Sucked up Walter. “Admirals, my Lords, Master and controllers of the continuum of continuum, if this being has lost his plot, it is not your fault.”
“Here-here!” Cried the Admirals in unison.
“However,” interrupted the Advisory pointing to the ceiling above “This is your problem. It could not have escaped your attention, Admirals, but it is raining in paradise.”
The three Admirals looked up, then at each other, and busily huddled together in a conspiratorial meeting. Finally they adjourned, and rejoined the room, allowing the centre Admiral to act as spokesman. “It has not escaped our attention, are you suggesting that the arrival of this being has something to do with the storms?”
“More than suggesting. If I may call forth my first witness, Agent Grover”
“Please do.” Said the Admiral to the left, folding his arms.
Grover came forth, stopped three steps short of the Admirals boat, saluted each one individually then took his place behind a red podium.
The Advisory approached. “Grover, you realise lying is pointless.”
“Of course.”
“Good. In your own words, what the hell is going on here?”
Grover cleared his throat. “I was out on patrol last night, as per usual, with my partner, Ackerman. We were scanning the narrative life force of a distant creation named Earth, it’s on our patch, and we found…a glitch.”
“You refer to this being here,” said the Advisory, pointing at Drake.
“I do,” said Grover. “We were driving down a deserted highway and he, quite literally, fell out of the sky.”
The Admirals gasped.
“Fell out of the sky?” The Advisory stuttered, looking back at Drake in a brand new light. Drake shrugged. “Are you sure?” The advisory probed.
Grover nodded towards the Admirals. “He fell out of the sky, and the rain quickly followed. It was a…” he hesitated before conceding “miracle.”
“Blasphemy!” Cried Walter intervening, pointing sternly at Grover, “you are on thin ice here Agent Grover!”
“I should co-co!” agreed the middle Admiral, rising to his feet. “Are you trying to somehow insinuate that God, the Mover and the Shaker, is back? And that we, the Admirals of Destiny, are so powerless that we did not detect this?”
“N-no,” said Grover, cowering like a scolded dog. “B-but he fell out of the sky. We immediately brought him here. Immediately.”
“Let’s hope.” Said the Admiral, re-taking his seat. “Call forth Ackerman.”
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